By this time by boyfriend is beginning to chuckle and I yell what?! He said, " If multiple people on different occasions, who do not talk to each other, are calling you a hipster...don't you think you are one? Time to stop denying it." This literally had never occurred to me, and I let his statement sink in. I needed to confront my denial of being a hipster...and maybe just accept that I'm a little hipstery.
How come I did not want to own the fact that I am a little hipster? When I pondered that thought I deduced it to the fact I stated earlier. I thought I was the farthest thing from hipster. I may do yoga, wear overalls, and drink craft beer. However, I also have a job I love, steady income, and am in grad school... do hipsters even do those things? I have been detesting the idea of being hipster because I did not think it aligned with my beliefs, values, and the things I was doing with my life. As I sip my kombucha I began to confront this idea that things I believe in are a little off the cultural mainstream and that is TOTALLY OKAY. So instead of fighting this label and turning it into a negative, I will just own it and tell myself "hey.. you're doing you, and it may be a little different than everyone else, and if that makes you a hipster...well I guess I am a hipster".
Dig Deeper
Let's back up a smidge. What is denial even? It is basically us telling ourselves something is not true or we don't want to believe this. Denial can be used as a coping skill to handle distressing situations, but I want to focus on the everyday stuff (we can leave the deep dark denial for another discussion).
Now this is just told you about one small silly example. What happens when we look at the bigger picture? How often to we have multiple people tell us something and we continue time and time again to defend ourselves because what they say goes against our personal beliefs. I can think of many times where denying an idea, opinion, or person, was easier than confronting them.
So now, you as the reader, think about something you are denying. Is it something small like your family calls you a gym rat because you go everyday, but you don't want to be seen as that person who is obsessed with the gym? Or is it something more serious like I am denying my emotions about my shitty relationship and am to scared, anxious, etc to confront them. Whatever your denial situation is sit with that though and keep reading. (Small disclaimer here: if your denial is coming from situations such as addition, eating disorder, or something more serious please seek out your local counseling facility.)
Confronting that shit and owning it
Okay, you have your situation in your head that you are denying. Is your anxiety building? I know this is not super comfortable, but guess what... most things in life aren't comfortable. Now this is the time with your situation in your head that you are going to think of answers to three questions?
1) Where is the denial coming from? Is it an internal belief or an external one?
2) What is stopping you from confronting your denial? Are you nervous or anxious? Do you need more information before you confront your denial?
3) Just own that shit. Maybe that means taking accountability for your actions, or maybe it is taking a different perspective to change your belief.
Although my situation above may seem small and insignificant to others, I found it annoying to be called a hipster. I took these three steps to gain some insight to my denial. My denial was coming from me and my beliefs, and I needed to own that. I looked up some more information about what being a hipster meant to others, and when people call me a hipster what does it mean to me. Last, I just decided to own it. If my boyfriend and friends want to call me a hipster, then let them. I am going to own who I am, and not deny it to anyone.
-Sarah
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